J

I'm not sure what sparked me to write this, but lately I have been spending too much time focusing on myself and things that are insignificant. So, I decided to take a step back and evaluate the world around me, and I have come to this conclusion: being absorbed has isolated me from all the happiness surrounding me, beginning with my friends.

I may be biased, but I honestly know that I have the BEST friends a girl could have. I am so incredibly blessed with such inspiring, beautiful, funny, intelligent, genuine, and loving women in my life that I get the privilege of calling my friends. So here's dedication to you- to those that make me a better person, who stick by my side even when I don't deserve it, and to those who I wouldn't trade anything in the world for, honestly. Diving head first into your happiness has made be a better person and for that gift, I will forever be grateful.

Just the other day, I could have sworn fireworks exploded within Julia as we drove home. One of her "dreams" you could say, finally came true. As I listened to her giddily talk about the plans for the coming weeks, I realized that her happiness made me happy. Watching my friend so excited honestly opened my eyes to the realization that if I step away from my selfish tendencies, I become a better person. Being self-absorbed has gotten me nowhere, but the beauty that is created from sharing in the happiness of a dear friend is unfathomably valuable. Who knew, right?

So thanks J for letting me share your moment with you, it meant more than you know.

Day 1

With a new month comes a new challenge: write every day and make it meaningful. So, here goes nothing…

Today, in my Women and Leadership class we were asked to write down a goal that we have for ourselves. It could be a goal that we want to accomplish this semester, this year, or in our lifetime. I could have easily put down, “I want to graduate from Auburn and attain a job in Travel Journalism, hopefully for National Geographic” (which is definitely true), but instead I decided to be a little more honest on paper than usual.

I wrote: I want to take a mission/service trip overseas and not know anyone.

Just minutes before we had watched a video on taking a study abroad trip to Belize and it really got me thinking. I love people (recent discovery that my top strength is that I’m a Woo-er), and I’ve always dreamt of traveling somewhere and making a difference, as corny as that may sound. Growing up, I was blessed with any and everything and as I’ve gotten older I’ve developed the philosophy to always try to be selfless in whatever I do. So as I watched the video showcasing Belize and all the wonderful opportunities that would come from doing this, I also made a mental note that when I go wherever I decide, I don’t want to go with anyone I know.

This sounds a little strange, considering it would be comforting to know a face in a crowd of the unfamiliar, but for me, I want to dive head first into giving my entire self to these people, and I don’t think I can do it unless I’m completely focused on my mission. So many people take service trips with their church groups or school, whatever it may be, and so many times they lose track of their pupose for being there. When they get tired of laboring all day in the hot sun, or when they’re tired of trying to conquer the language barrier, they retreat back to their comfort zone and it’s all merry again. What I want to experience, however, is the real deal. I want to be able to fully give myself to the people that I’m helping and building relationships with and really experience life as they do.

Another reason, probably more of a driving force than the other, is I’m actually afraid to do it alone. This sounds contradicting, but I am afraid, so that’s why I want to accomplish this. I've always had the mentality that if I stumble upon something that I'm fearful of, I'm going to make sure to succeed at it. Life is so short, and I feel like I don’t have time to let being fearful stop me from pursuing my passions. Down the road I want to be able to say, “Yeah, I was afraid, but I succeeded nonetheless.”

I’m not going to let fear or insecurity get in my way. If I sat out everytime I felt like that, I would never do anything…and let’s be honest, in the end what kind of success does being a “benchwarmer” even get you? Zip.